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Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Fading away.. (my feelings and thoughts right now)

Hello everyone.

First of all, I barely write about personal things.
I don't want anyone feel bad for me in any way, I'm not that kind of attentionseeking person.
I'm more like that kind of person who isolate myself when it come to tough things
or if someone come to close to me or want to help too much.
I hope you will understand what I have to say and don't be mad at me in any way.
With this post I will just open me up a little bit
and share my feelings and thoughts for the moment.


So.. as you already know I have start at my new Internship and it's my second week now.
I really like my new Internship and I think it's suits me really well,
the days goes fast and it's so fun to be there and the people are so kind~
But it's some things that makes me a little bit sad(?) and stressed.
I can't go to my Internship all dolled up in my hime or agejo clothes and that makes
me little sad because I love to dress up and wear OTT outfits and we all know that
we can't go to work (sometimes school) like that because of rules.
At my Internship I are toned down and I can't feel like myself sometimes,
I want to wear what I want every day.
Also I plan to color my own hair in a crazy color but I don't know if I can do that..
But it's good that I can wear pink clothes, wigs, lashes and lenses.
 Well this is not a big thing but at the moment I feel little sad about this,
but I think this will be better. We will see.

Now to the worst thing:
Maybe this is not a big thing for some people but for me.
I just want to share my feelings, ok?
So.. I suffering from stress and stress doesn't feels good for anyone.
I'm at my Internship from 10 pm to 4 am (10-16) every week monday-friday,
that makes many hours of the day dissapear.
Well it's not super bad in one way: I learn new stuff and maybe I can be hired in the future.
(hopefully)
I'm a person who want to do so many things in my life but it's too little time.
It's too little hours on a day, so much to do so little time!
I have many hobbies and I have much to do, but when I got home from my Internship
every day it feels like I'm not motivated to do anything.. at all!
Maybe it's something I feel at the moment, I don't know..
As you already know, I have my own brand HimeNannie to work with too,
a blog, Youtube channels, hang out with friends and my boyfriend, family,
take care of the home, workout and gaming..
I know you thinking that I should do other stuff instead of write this blogpost
but blogging is one of my hobbies too and my work.
I know everything is about priority, but at the moment I don't know what to do.
It's so much.
In one way, I know everything will be better soon.
But..

Anyone who know how to priority better, so I have time for everything I want to have time to?
Do you feel the same? (I can't be the only one)
How can I handle my stress better?
Do you suffering from stress? How do you handle it?


4 comments:

  1. Förstår precis hur du känner, du vet ju hur jag brukar se ut till vardags osv. .. Nu har jag vanliga blåa jeans och en tröja till.. Så jävla obekvämt och är helt slut på kvällarna och hade gärna lagt ner mer tid på min youtu.be kanal när jag äntligen börjat! Men orkat inte och allt känns bara jobbigt. Sen ska man hinna umgås med folk men är helt slut och hyfsat pank pp helgerna. Så jag förstår verkligen!
    Vill du prata mer är det bara att skriva 💓
    Kjamizar cicci <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ååh sötnos! <3 Ja det är lite jobbigt när tiden inte räcker till. Allt jag känner är bara stress för tillfället ;__;

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  2. Sorry if this sounds hard but this is just the real life. I also have to work from 8 to 16:30 from monday to friday and can't dress like I want. Just because I need the money and because society sucks. When I come home I have to clean the kitchen, make the dishes, wash my cloth, etc. And after eating something I'm so sleepy that I go to bed. But you know what? I really really appreciate every free hour of doing stuff I love.. I know life's hard but there is a lot of beautiful things. Just don't think too much about it and enjoy the little things. It's a pity that you even have to make decisions what you do in your rare spare time, that you have to set priorities, but you have to. Decide for only some hobbies you really love, so you don't have to stress so much. Okay I hope you understand everything my english is bit strange today.. ^^'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah I know it's the real life, but I can't handle it if it's too stressful (right now). I need money too but I only get around 3K SEK every month for this.. only 3K, and it's sick. Hopefully I will get a real job after this Internship. I should do as you said and do stuff I love.. I will try to do my best! ^^

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